Can you hold emotions in Presence?
EQ's Importance for teenagers
Practicalities of Presence ie: Learning State
Emotional intelligence = less suffering
Emotions are a major aspect of being human. Most humans tend to be run by their emotions which leads to behaviour and outcomes that are not desirable for the person or those around them. Emotional avoidance is what causes suffering. This topic is of vital importance to understand to save decades of suffering. This page while somewhat obscure is a key reason why people seek Awakening. We strive to be happy or at least at peace, especially when we are experiencing emotional states. This drive is inherent to the prime directives of the unconscious mind (pillar No5). If you are not clear on this then take up the offer below for a chat or initial session. So few understand this, only the Enlightened live it and know what the real reality is.
Emotions block our natural states called feelings. The questions to ask yourself are:
⊗ How do my emotions hold me back from doing what I want?
⊗ How do my emotions damage how I relate to people?
⊗ How would my life be if I was not controlled by my emotions?
⊗ What bad behaviours would disappear?
⊗ How would people relate to me differently?
⊗ Can I remain calm and functional in emotionally charged and challenging situations?
Emotional intelligence makes the difference
Emotions will always arise. It is a basic function of being human, so the questions are could you imagine how good it would be to:
♦ Not dump emotional baggage on others and thus have relationships that are based on today, not past hurts.
♦ Not overreact in a situation and be a slave to your emotions resulting in behaviours that are destructive or unwanted.
♦ Be comfortable in an emotionally charged situation, thus being able to guide others who are lost in their emotions.
♦ When an emotion is triggered, although it may not feel good, be able to remain calm and choose how you deal with the situation.
♦ Stay neutral when others are in emotional reaction.
♦ Understand and be able to use Anger, be that expressed anger or internalised anger, so situations change. Use anger cleanly as a change driver.
♦ Once anger has been felt and used appropriately, it vanishes and there is no fuming or afterburn where the mind dwells on it.
♦ Operate with peace and confidence when fear arises (the fear will give you extra vigilance that helps you cope).
Anybody can become emotionally intelligent
Emotional intelligence, as with anything discussed on this website, is a skill and can be learned by anybody. Practicing correct Presence develops emotional intelligence. Learning to be Present allows emotions to be as they are. As you are Present with them you learn that you are not your emotions. Thus you do not need to revert to behaviours and actions that the emotion may be drawing you into.
As you develop your Presence practice, you will dissolve what Eckhart Tolle calls the pain body. The pain body is another term for emotional baggage. Once the emotional baggage is dissolved, you will notice that you react less and less and that you can choose your actions. You will then spend more time in the feelings like peace and joy.
The Great no emotions myth busted
It is a great spiritual myth that emotions don't happen when you are Enlightened. This is just another myth that slows people from coming home to peace. It sows doubt in the mind that such a way of living can never be achieved. By definition to be conscious means to be conscious regardless of what is going on.
Emotions are part of our core navigation system. They are like traffic lights, to use a metaphor, that we need to function. They give us guidance as to what is required at that moment. However, this system starts to fail when emotions are not resolved within the situation that they arise. Thus they build up as our unconscious mind stores these unresolved emotions for later review when they can be resolved. This is how the unconscious regulates and protects the conscious functioning mind from overwhelm. Emotional baggage, or pain body, then starts to build up. From this place, the system literally stops working correctly as Presence is the only way to release an emotion 100%.
You will notice that the people who claim emotions don't arise when one is Enlightened (called phase 3 Abiding Awakening on this website) are not living in that place of Enlightenment. These people are not speaking from experience. This can also come from an unclear teacher or false Guru who has a control agenda. If this is the case you should run away very fast!
Perhaps, just to postulate, this may be the case for a very evolved soul who resides consciously and in a very advanced state of Enlightenment. Given I have been in phase 6 non-Abiding Transpersonal for 7 years (as of 2022) I can say I certainly have emotions. That is 15 years (as of late 2022) of being in phase 3 Abiding Awakening onwards. Of the very advanced teachers I have been around who may not experience emotions as such, I have not had the opportunity to ask these sorts of questions.
That's my experience as mentioned on the phase 5+ Transpersonal Awakening page. But you can bet the person saying emotions don't happen when you are Enlightened would not even be able to define what Transpersonal Awakening is. One cannot speak about an Awakening phase until it has been lived continuously for a period of time. Even six months isn't really enough to clearly delineate the differences and its durability. Guessing is not an evidential outcome. They would be incapable of knowing it until it's experienced. Hence in this teaching, I say stick to your personally lived experience.
One day I'd like to meet and ask directly someone who lives in this place and get a real answer from someone who lives it. There are very few humans on the planet that live in this place of deeply connected consciousness. Having access to these people is the next issue. They are very hard to get personal question time with them!
Emotions & feelings defined
emotions are not feelings
Emotions on this website are defined as broadly as fear, anger, frustration, sadness, anxiety, guilt and excitement. There are many other types of emotions but generally, they are close relatives or variations of those just mentioned. This is completely different from what is defined in these pages as feelings. Feelings include peace, awareness, spaciousness, stillness, joy, happiness, openness and love. Love is often a loaded word that people attach various meanings and conditions to. Love on this website is defined as Agape, as that has no condition attached.
Feelings are your natural state and as you become more conscious and Present these will be much more consistent in your life in all situations. You learn to be aware of these undercurrent feelings as emotions rise and fall. Because feelings are the Real You then they are actually always there. The only thing stopping it is your lack of volitional Presence practice so they are not experienced. Emotional Intelligence is the concept described by Daniel Goleman in his book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. As he rightly points out; what is more important than being competent with your emotions and relating well or having a smart mind? Although, unlike cognitive intelligence, your emotional intelligence is 100% able to be developed. The only question is do you want to?
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